The Night the "Real Me" Died...

The night the 'real me' died

A woman so independent, strong and brave

With a soul so loud you could hear me from across the room.

With a laugh that echoed through the streets and could be heard for miles.

A person without any sense of danger, that lived her life care-free

So innocent and believed in good in every person she would meet.

Until the day I met you and that woman died.

Reborn new- now an empty shell, yet filled full of unwanted thoughts and feelings

I take showers hotter than hells deepest layer- where you belong.

But it is not enough to wash away the memories, imbedded deep within.

You trespassed into my hometown and destroyed my safety net.

I wish I had been able to react like your defence lawyer claims I should.

But my body, frozen in fear, confused, damaged, bruised and no longer mine, was stuck in survival mode just trying to get by.

How could I run, Is she for real? I felt like I was dead, she wasn't even there

To witness the repeated attacks that lasted 6 torturous hours.

How could I flee? I had an object buried deep inside- completely stuck

But you already know that because you are the one that forced it there against my will.

You ignored my pleas and treated me like inanimate object for your own dirty pleasure

I stated NO in more ways than one, not just with my mouth but with my body in its last attempt to protect me.

My body- now an alien, no longer recognisable, shakes on its own accord

My mind- now disconnected plays flashbacks on repeat.

You would think that 4 years later it would be a distant memory

But I think I see you everywhere, as my walls are built so high.

Facebook? More like face-fuck, suggesting you as 'people that I might know'?

Of course I know you but algorithm has really gotten it wrong this time.

Thank you social media for the reminder, of the night that the real me- died.

By R.W